Hikayat Moden: Bahagian VI (Si Luncai dan Labunya)

Baca Bahagian I, Bahagian II, Bahagian III, Bahagian IV & Bahagian V di sini.
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Si Luncai yang mempunyai sistem komputer cap Labu yang canggih (bukan cap 
Epal yang selalu berulat) telah menggodam sistem akaun negeri. Dia tahu yang 
Lebai Pak Belalang mengunakan duit negeri untuk tujuan yang tidak menguntungkan negeri.

Si Luncai sudah tahu akan hal ini sejak dari awal lagi; sebelum Pak Belalang mendapat gelaran Lebai lagi. Tetapi pada masa itu, Si Luncai masih lagi asyik "berenang dengan labunya". Bak kata pepatah "biarkan Si Luncai terjun dengan labunya". 

Jika dia membongkar hal ini pada masa ini, bukan Lebai Pak Belalang yang 
akan menjadi korban. Bahkan Si Luncai yang akan terkorban. Gelaran "Lebai" 
yang ada pada Lebai Pak Belalang adalah bagaikan satu perisai yang sukar 
untuk di atasi oleh hukum karma. 

Bagi rakyat jelata negeri, seorang yang bergelar Lebai tidak mungkin membuat kesalahan seperti ini. Mereka berfikir, pasti ada alasan kukuh yang berlandaskan agama yang rakyat jelata tidak faham tapi hanya alim ulamak yang faham. Hanya alim ulamak yang faham perkara-perkara sebegini yang rakyat jelata tidak faham. Apatah lagi jika jika kata-kata berbaur arabik campur melayu digembar-gemburkan untuk menjadi alasan dan penjelasan akan isu-isu seperti ini.

Maka menggaru-garulah kepala akan Si Luncai berfikir bagaimana hendak 
mendedahkan hal ini tanpa dia sendiri menjadi tohmahan masyarakat. Dia menggaru kepala sampailah kepalanya botak keguguran akibat garuannya.

Melalui komputer cab Labu yang dia ada, dia bertanya kepada Tok Guru Antara 
Jala. Tok Guru Antara Jala hanya memberi satu nasihat sahaja kepadanya.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and 
then beat you with experience. 
-Mark Twain- 

(Tok Guru Antara Jala hanya pandai cakap Jawa Barat, nasib baik Si Luncai pandai baca Jawa Barat.)

Si Luncai tahu yang dia cerdik tapi berdasarkan nasihat Tok Guru Antara Jala 
ini, apabila seorang yang cerdik dan seorang yang bodoh bergaduh, yang
bodoh akan sentiasa menang. 

Si Luncai memutuskan hendak menyiasat akan kebenaran nasihat ini. 
Jika nasihat ini betul, maka untuk mengalahkan Lebai Pak Belalang, dia 
perlukan pertolongan seseorang yang lagi bodoh dari Lebai Pak Belalang.  

Tiba-tiba dia teringat akan kawan lamanya Pak Pandir...

Bersambung di Hikayat Moden: Bahagian VII bulan hadapan...

Dead on Wednesday.

Let's say there was this hypothetical religion.

Just a "normal" religion like any other religion with its own concept of God and religious rituals. It also has its own belief about death.

One of the beliefs, is that, if you die on a certain day, it means you are blessed by God and you will enter heaven without hindrance. (Suicide does not count of course.)

Let's say, for this religion, that particular day is Wednesday. It is a holy day. King of days of the week.

If you die on a Wednesday, it is God's way of telling people that you have lived a religious and pious life and you will enter heaven easily. Or if you have lived less than pious life, it could mean that God has somehow forgiven you and your way to heaven will be easier.

Now, let's say that you are an old religious leader on your death bed.
You are dying.
In fact, you are in a coma and on life support.

Everyone in your community knows you.
They acknowledge that you have lived a good, pious and religious life, filled with service to God and good deeds to religion and to all men.
By all standards of the religion, you should have no difficulty to enter heaven. But of course, no one knows for certain because the right to enter heaven belongs to God.

Then, the doctor advises your family to take you off life support. Medically speaking, it has become untenable to continue your life artificially. It is time to let you go.

Your family now has to decide whether and when to take you off life support.

Since you are also a prominent religious leader of an organisation, and of the community, the family also consulted the other leaders of that organisation.

And surprise, surprise; they decided to take your life support off, on very early Wednesday morning, just after midnight (even though this religion believe that a new calendar day start at sunset, they still decide to take off the life
support based on the secular day time, a few minutes after midnight, early Wednesday morning).

Of course, as per the doctor's prediction, you die a few hours afterwards. On a Wednesday. On your religion's holy day.

Does that mean they have managed to cheat God to better your odd to enter heaven? Does that mean they manage to manipulate God's own rule in order to afford you better odd to enter heaven?

Why would they consciously chose Wednesday? Why would they feel you need additional help to enter heaven even though they acknowledge your life of piety and virtue and good deeds? Well, to be fair, you cannot blame the efforts of your loved ones to ensure your happiness in the afterlife.

Then, the leaders of the organisation announced your death, taking special note to make it clear that you die on a Wednesday.

This reaffirms to the public that the organisation was led by a person blessed by God since God has chosen to take you on a Wednesday. Of course, the public do not know that the family, in consultation with the other leaders decided to take you off life support on a Wednesday. This was, of course, never mentioned in the press release.

And since the organisation was led by a person blessed by God, this makes the organisation, by association, also blessed by God. An organisation chosen by God.

This, of course, raised the profile of the organisation.
Support increases.
Membership increases.
Donation increases.

How good for them!

Of course, this is just hypothetical.
As far as I know, there is no religion on Earth today that has "Wednesday" as a holy day.

I have too much of an imagination.


PS: Interesting side note. Wednesday comes from "Woden's Day" which is Old English for Odin's Day. Odin is, for those of you who know Viking history, is god of the Viking, in Norse mythology.

Just saying.