Hikayat Moden: Bahagian I (Mat Jenin, Pak Pandir & Si Luncai)

Once upon a time, Mat Jenin, Pak Pandir and Si Luncai walked into a bar...

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Oh... wait...!

These three characters are from Malay hikayat stories.
I will be accused of blasphemy and insulting Malay culture if I ever suggested that these three walked into a bar.
I better start over.
Better yet, I will tell it in Bahasa.
(For my English speaking reader, you have to learn Bahasa if you want to read this).

Here goes again, in Bahasa...
.
.
.

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Pada suatu hari, Mat Jenin, Pak Pandir dan Si Luncai singgah di satu warung untuk makan.
Mereka memilih satu meja di satu sudut warung dan duduk.
Mereka sebenarnya tiada duit untuk membayar harga makanan yang hendak dimakan tetapi mereka berasa sangat lapar.

Sebaik sahaja duduk, seorang pelayan datang untuk melayan mereka.

Sebelum sempat pelayan tersebut mengambil pesanan mereka, Mat Jenin, mengucapkan terima kasih kepada pelayan tersebut kerana membawa pesanan mereka dengan begitu cepat. Mat Jenin memuji akan kesedapan makanan yang dihidangkan. Dia berkata yang dia akan makan apa yang pelayan itu telah hidangkan.

Tanpa menghiraukan wajah keliru pelayan tersebut, Mat Jenin terus berpura-pura makan seolah-olah dia sedang makan satu hidangan yang besar dan sangat sedap.

Pak Pandir yang melihat gelgat Mat Jenin yang sedang makan makanan "olok-olok" itu bertanya pada Mat Jenin,

"Mat Jenin, apa yang kau makan tu?"

Mat Jenin berhenti "makan" dan memandang pada Pak Pandir;

"Buta ke bodoh kau ni? Tak nampak ke yang aku sedng makan lobster bakar, pai labu karamel dan minum air coconut shake yand sedap ni?
Dah! Jangan ganngu aku makan. Aku lapar ni!"

Pak Pandir hanya menggelengkan kepala dia apabila mendengar jawapan Mat Jenin tersebut.
Dia hanya berfikir dalam hati.
"Makan sedap, tapi tak guna pinggan, sudu dan garpu. Pengotor!"
Lalu Pak Pandir memesan pada pelayan tersebut untuk membawa pinggan mangkuk dan gelas kosong.

Pelayan tersebut yang merasakan bahawa dia sedang di "prank" hanya melayan kerenah Pak pandir dan membawakan pingan mangkuk dan gelas kososng seperti yang diminta.

Pak Pandir berkata dengan suara yang tinggi seolah-olah membuat pengumuman yang dia pun akan makan benda yang sama seperti Mat Jenin. Pak Pandir pun terus makan makanan "olok-olok" yang sama seperti Mat Jenin.

Si Luncai yang melihat gelagat kedua-dua rakannya hanya mendiamkan diri.
Dia memberi isyarat kepada pelayan tersebut dan memesan satu pinggan nasi goreng kampung, pengat labu dan air kelapa muda.
Pelayan tersebut pergi membuat pesanan tersebut. Beberapa minit kemudian pesanan Si Luncai pun sampai dan dia makan masakan tersebut yang ringkas tapi sedap itu.

Setelah semua selesai makan, Si Luncai berkata pada rakan-rakannya.

"Walaupun aku makan sedikit dan ringkas sahaja, tapi sebab kita semua sahabat baik dan sejati, aku rela kita bahagi bil makanan kita samarata, bahagi tiga sahaja. Aku sangat gembira untuk belanja sahabat-sahabat ku makan makanan yang sedap. Apa pendapat kamu?"

Mat Jenin dan Pak Pandir yang terharu dengan kata-kata Si Luncai tersebut, bersetuju dengan cadangan Si Luncai.
Pelayan tersebut membawa bil tetapi disebabkan mereka tiada duit untuk membayar, tuan punya kedai itu memaksa mereka membuat kerja dapur dan buruh sebagai bayaran makanan mereka.

Si Luncai berkata kepada Mat Jenin dan Pak Pandir,

"Biarlah aku bersihkan meja dan pingan mangkuk yang banyak yang kita makan ini. Lagipun kerja bersihkan meja kat luar bawah panas terik mentari ini sangat tidak selesa. Aku tidak mahu kamu berdua berpanas terik di bawah matahari. Jadi aku akan bersihkan meja kita ni. Apa kata kamu berdua bersihkan bilik air dan basuh dapur di dalam yang lagi selesa dan ada aircond."

Mat Jenin dan Pak Pandir merasa terharu akan keprihatinan sahabat mereka Si Luncai dan bersetuju dengan cadangan tersebut.

Mat Jenin dan Pak Pandir pergi untuk membuat kerja-kerja tersebut.

Mat Jenin memandang timbunan pingan mangkuk yang perlu dibasuhnya. Dia cuba membayangkan bagaimanakah pingan mangkuk tersebut boleh dibasuh secara automatik.

Sementara itu, Pak Pandir merasakan cara terbaik untuk memastikan kebersihan kedai makan tersebut adalah dengan meruntuhkan tandas tersebut. Dia ada terbaca statistik yang pernah dikongsi di dalam group Whatsapp bahawa ramai pekerja restoran tidak membasuh tangan selepas selesai urusan mereka dalam tandas yang boleh menyebabkan keracunan makanan.

Pak Pandir merasakan jika tiada tandas, maka pekerja restoran tidak akan masuk tandas dan tangan mereka tidak akan kotor dan menyebabkan keracunan makanan. Maka dia pun memulakan kerja-kerja meruntuhkan tandas tersebut.

Sementara itu, Si Luncai menghabiskan sisa-sisa pengat labunya dan mengambil pinggan mangkuk dan gelas yang dia gunakan tadi lalu membawanya ke tempat membasuh. Dia melihat Mat Jenin sedang berangan-angan tanpa menghiraukan keadaan sekeliling. Si Luncai senyap-senyap meletakkan pingan mangkuk tersebut di dalam sinki sebelum berlalu pergi dari situ meninggalkan Mat Jenin dan Pak pandir apabila tiada orang memandangnya.

Pengat labu Luncai.

Bersambung di Hikayat Moden: Bahagian II bulan hadapan...

Nature's beauty to rejuvenate the soul. (Bukit Capal, Parit Sulong: 18th January, first hiking trip for 2020).

 

When life becomes a messy knot.

When life throws thorns in your path.

 

When you are burdened with
the weight of everything.

When life squeezes you hard...

 

...and harder.

When you feel drained, lifeless,
like a dead tree trunk...

...and you just want
to lie down like a dead log.

Take a break & enjoy the beauty around you.

 Look at the big picture.

See the order in chaos & untangle the mess.

Remember your roots.
Your foundation.
Your values.

See the inner beauty & strength in your core.

Stand tall & strong and
reach for greater height.

 

Above all else,
remember to go hiking once in a while.
See you next time Mother Nature!

 

Photos taken during hiking trip at Bukit Capal, Parit Sulong, Batu Pahat, Johor.
Elevation is about 250+ metre.
Hiking difficulty is easy for seasoned hikers to moderate for beginners.

 

Why was JWW Birch killed? (The real reason JWW Birch was killed).

Today, 20th January 2020, is the 146th anniversary of the signing of the Pangkor Treaty in 1874 AD.

The Pangkor Treaty resulted in the establishment of the British Resident system in Perak, and later, was used as a template for similar system in other Federated Malay States. It was the beginning of British rule in the rest of Malaya after the Strait Settlement states.

The first British Resident in Perak was JWW Birch (James Wheeler Woodford Birch). His career as the first British Resident in Perak ended when he was assassinated in Pasir Salak during a visit to the area.

As school children, during History lesson, we were taught that JWW Birch was killed because he attempted to subvert or destroy or insult the Malay customs and religion (mencemarkan adat, duli dan agama) or something to that effect.

At that time, it never occurred to me to ask how did he specifically try to do that. At that time (1980's) nationalistic fervour against the British was strong, and also, as a child, my critical thinking skills was still developing.
After somehow accepting that JWW Birch deserved it, that question was forgotten until recently.

Did he force the Malays to eat with forks and spoons instead of with their hands?
Did he enter their homes without taking off his shoes?
Did he force them to eat bread instead of rice?
Did he ban wayang kulit, zapin, or kuda kepang and try to replace them with Shakespeare's play?
Did he force them to wear suits and ties instead of the baju Melayu?
I do not have any evidence of the above, but somehow, I do not think he tried to do any of those.

Did he try to ban construction of mosques?
Did he try to ban the teaching of Islam?
The history book never mentioned this.
So, again, I do not think so.

Did he try to convert the Malays to his religion?
Sure, there were Christian missionaries that came and set up mission schools, but those were done by Christian missionaries, not personally by JWW Birch. He was just a British Resident, an administrator.
Plus, there was no evidence of forced conversion by those missionary schools.
So, again NO.

Did he try to abolish the Malay monarchy?
Again, NO.
Even when the British exiled Sultan Abdullah to the Seychelles, they propped up another Malay Sultan in his place. It was in the British interest to make sure the Malay monarchy system was preserved.
(The reason for this will take a full length post. Maybe another time.)

The Pangkor Treaty of 1874 was specific. The Sultan remained as the ruler and the purview of religion and Malay custom were maintained under the Sultan.

The British knew better than to meddle in those.
Well, except for one thing.

JWW Birch attempted to abolish slavery in Perak (and by extension in Malaya). Unfortunately, for JWW Birch, the Malay elites at that time considered owning slaves and slavery as part of the Malay customs.

Owning slaves was not just a sign that you are a bangsawan.
As slaves are considered property, the more slaves you own, the richer and wealthier you are considered.
And the rich and wealthy were, and are, as always, more powerful and more influential.

In the end, it is about money and power.
So, no, JWW Birch was not killed because he insulted the Malay custom and religion.
In the end, it is always the same.
It was because of money and power.
(But in this case money and power rooted in an abhorrent tradition.)

Maharajalela was not defending Malay/Islam honour or dignity or the Sultan.
If he was, he and his peers would have opposed the Pangkor Treaty and fought against the British rule constituted by that treaty.

As the British was clever enough not to put anything in the treaty that jeopardise the Malay elites wealth and power, they did not (strongly) oppose the treaty, even though they lost their independence.

In a way, I wished they did go to war against the establishment of the Pangkor Treaty.
As it was, they were willing to go to war to preserve an abhorrent tradition such as slavery rather than to preserve their independence.

They died trying to preserve slavery rather than trying to defend their independence.
(This sentence is full of irony, it is unbearable to write and read. Died trying to prevent other people's freedom rather than trying to defend your own freedom!)

Why am I pointing this out, when there are no more slavery in Malaysia?
(Or is there?)
Well, because learning history is about learning from history.

It says something about the moral compass of the Malay, or at least of the Malay elites that time.
Obviously, they were willing to die defending an abhorrent tradition rather than preserving their freedom.
Is this the kind of moral you want to uphold and teach your children?

The Malay has ("had" now?) a saying, "Biar mati anak, jangan mati adat".
Which adat are you referring to?

Is defending corrupt leaders part of that adat?

Maharajalela's followers were willing to die defending slavery, which they considered part of Malay adat and custom.
Nowadays, followers of corrupt Malay leaders are willing to die defending those same corrupt leaders, just because the corrupt leaders are Malay and they propound the same tired propaganda of Malay dignity and honour.

Will the Malays never learn from history?
I guess not since many do not know their own history.

A pebble that can rock the world (sticks & stones): Part I

My pebbles collection
from the River Rhine.

Do you remember when you were small and playing at the school yard or at the kampung field or the housing estate playground, when a fight broke out?

Children fight over many things, sometime silly things, and sometime serious things.

Sometime fights start because one kid insult or call another kid, bad names, most probably "sissy" or "pondan" or words to that effect.

But then, once in a while, a kid will not take the bait.
He believes in the English rhyme "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me".

A discerning bully, knowing that he cannot trigger this kid with personal insult, will switch tactic.
What did he do?

He picked a random pebble from the ground, placed it carefully near his feet.
He would point at the pebble and said "this is your mother/father's head", and proceeded to step on the pebble and with all his might, tried to crush the pebble as if crushing the skull of the aforementioned kid's parent's head.

And just like that, the previously calm and nonchalant kid, which was impervious to any and all verbal abuse, suddenly, turned into a tiger and attacked the bully.

The mantra, you can insult me all you like, but, hell for you if you step on a pebble while pointing at it and at the same time saying that it was my parent/loved one's head.

Does that make sense to you?
I suppose if you were a child, it makes perfect sense to defend the honour and integrity of a pebble.
Children after all are susceptible to suggestion.
If you say, there is a monster under the bed, or there is a "penunggu" at that "simpang" of the village where the big old tree is, they would believe you.
So, it's not a stretch for them to believe that a pebble is the same as their beloved mother's head.

This in itself is not a problem.
They are immature children.
Once they grow up, they should have outgrown this.
They would laugh with their former enemies (or "frenemies", if you are Batman/Superman fans) at how silly they were, forget all about it and move on.

But unfortunately, this does not happen.
Sure, the thin skinned kid that cannot handle personal insult, will grow thicker skin and be insult-proof.
But he will adopt the ethics of the other kid.
You can insult me, but hell for you if you insult my loved ones.
This is considered honourable. 
And in a globalised society that believe in absolute freedom of speech on one hand; and on the other, a society in which God and His Prophet is more beloved than even your own mother/father/wife/husband/children, this is a time bomb.  


To be continued...

Was the Wawasan a success or a failure? (Wawasan 2020)

We are now in the year 2020.

30 years ago, during his stint as the 4th Prime Minister of Malaysia, Dr Mahathir set out a vision for the holistic development of Malaysia which he called Wawasan 2020 or Vision 2020.

I was in my teens at that time and my own long term vision at that time was to get good grades for my exam so that I can continue my study oversea in the UK. (FYI, I achieved that vision!).
But I did not have a 30 year vision of what my life would be.

And I think Mahathir himself did not foresee his own fate 30 years in the future.
But, history has a funny way of unfolding.
Who would have guessed that when the year 2020 rolls in, he would be the 7th Prime Minister, able to see the success or failure of his own long term vision.

Clotho must have spun the string of fate in a knot for this to happen.

Whether we agree with his politics or not, it has to be admitted that Wawasan 2020 was a good plan.
It is worth reviewing and evaluating whether this Vision was achieved or not.

As a reminder, the nine goals or objectives of Wawasan 2020 were as follow;

1: Establishing a united Malaysian nation made up of one Bangsa Malaysia (Malaysian Race).

2: Creating a psychologically liberated, secure and developed Malaysian society.

3: Fostering and developing a mature democratic society.

4: Establishing a fully moral and ethical society.

5: Establishing a matured liberal and tolerant society.

6: Establishing a scientific and progressive society.

7: Establishing a fully caring society.

8: Ensuring an economically just society, in which there is a fair and equitable distribution of the wealth of the nation.

9: Establishing a prosperous society with an economy that is fully competitive, dynamic, robust and resilient.

I saw in google search that there were many news articles written about the success or failure of this.vision. I have not read them.
I want to give my own personal view on this.

I do not have data, rather the posts will be my own personal observation of my own surroundings, environment and readings.

You, the readers, are welcome to comment.

In the coming weeks and months, I will write and post separate commentary on each of the goals/objectives above.

In the meantime, Happy New Year and hope you all have a good and productive 2020.

Ciao.

What's coming for 2020. (Goodbye 2019 and Welcome 2020!)

What is coming in this blog for 2020?

Well, besides my usual rambling whenever any idea pop up in my head, books and travel reviews, I plan to do a commentary on "Wawasan 2020".
Are we there?
Do we achieve it?
I have to warn you though, this may not materialise.
I have not done any reading or research, and 2020 is expected to be busy on the work front. (We are starting up what we have been building since 2016!)

In addition, at every end of the month, starting 31st January 2020, there will be a release of a Hikayat Moden short stories serials.
(For examples of other modernised hikayat, read here, & here.)

We will see how that goes.

Anyway, hope you had a productive & joyful 2019 and wishing you the same for 2020.

Happy New Year!