He is always in and out of jobs.
His life is as per the Malay saying "kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang" (dig in the morning, eat in the morning; dig in the afternoon, eat in the afternoon).
Some days he does not eat.
Because of that, he is malnourished and skinny.
He is as thin as a stick.
By trade, he is a fisherman and a hunter.
Most of the year, he fish, and during the monsoon, he hunts.
However, to fish, there are a lot of bureaucratic hurdles from the Fisheries Department in terms of licensing and fishing restriction.
Unfortunately, there are also licensing and bureaucratic hurdles for Mr Crane to hunt set by the Forestry Department.
Hence, Mr Crane blames the Fisheries Department and the Forestry Department for his lack of "rezeki".
The Fisheries Department says they set all these licensing and bureaucratic hurdles to protect the environment as required by the Department of Environment (DOE). Rather than plan for sustainable fishing management, they take the easy way out and ban fishing outright in many places, in order to protect the fish and underwater seaweed, the so called grass of the sea. The Fisheries Department said they are simply following the DOE guidelines.
So, they blame the DOE for Mr Crane's predicament.
As for the Forestry Department, their answer is similar. They set all these licensing and bureaucratic hurdles to protect the animals and the green forest, even to the last grass. Instead of planning for sustainable long term forest management, they ban hunting outright. They say they are also simply following the DOE guidelines.
So, they also blame the DOE for Mr Crane's predicament.
The DOE says they have to protect the environment.
Their guideline has become even more restrictive after the spread of the "buffalo flu virus" that infect jungle animals. The virus infects the stomach lining of animals causing them to suffer indigestion and malnourishment.
One of the symptom of the disease is that the animals are not eating. This causes imbalance in the natural food chain in the forest. Some species almost become extinct for not eating and some species become overpopulated due to not being eaten. The forest also grows and encroaches into city limits causing inconveniences to city dwellers. The DOE blames the Veterinary Department for not being able to find the cure for this "buffalo flu virus".
The Veterinary Department, after taking samples from the animals and from the stomach of "Patient Zero", which was a buffalo, found that the cause of the disease was due to "Patient Zero", the buffalo, eating contaminated rice from a paddy field. The paddy field was overdosed with herbicide and insecticide causing the "buffalo flu" to mutate and spread. The Veterinary Department blames the Agricultural Department for this situation.
The Agricultural Department, instead of planning a careful spray management that does not damage the environment and does not endanger the food supply, they simply spray willy-nilly causing overdosing and food contamination. They plan for the rain to wash away the overdosed herbicide and insecticide instead of careful measurement of the dose. For that, they rely on the Meteorology Department to provide them with rain forecast.
However, as everyone knows, rain forecasting is not an exact science. And yet, when the rain does not fall as they had hoped, they blame the food contamination on the Meteorology Department for providing inaccurate rain forecast.
The Meteorology Department blames the wrong rain forecast on Mr F. Roger who did cloud seeding in the neighbouring state. Mr F. Roger's state was experiencing drought, so he did cloud seeding to create rain in his area. However, this causes havoc in the weather of the surrounding area which in turn causes weather forecasting to be more erratic and less exact than it already is.
Mr F. Roger blames the water shortage on the water service provider. The water service provider cannot give a decent service to its customers. There are always water shortages, water cuts and interruption in services.
So, that is why Mr F. Roger did cloud seeding in his area.
So, who does the water service provider blame?
Nobody.
They say they are just following their procedure.
It is how they operate.
Or in other words, inefficiency is their nature.
Deal with it...!
And the name of this water service provider?
Syarikat Negara Air Kuning Enterprise or "SNAKE" for short.
Go figure!
Let us now together sing Bangau Oh Bangau!
Lyrics below together with the English translation.
Bangau oh bangau
Kenapa engkau kurus?
Macam mana aku tak kurus
Ikan tak mahu timbul
Ikan tak mahu timbul
Ikan oh ikan
Kenapa engkau tak mahu timbul?
Macam mana aku nak timbul
Rumput panjang sangat
Rumput panjang sangat
Rumput oh rumput
Kenapa panjang sangat?
Macam mana aku tak panjang
Kerbau tak makan aku
Kerbau tak makan aku
Kerbau oh kerbau
Kenapa tak makan rumput?
Macam mana aku nak makan
Perut aku sakit
Perut aku sakit
Perut oh perut
Kenapa engkau sakit?
Macam mana aku tak sakit
Makan nasi mentah
Makan nasi mentah
Nasi oh nasi
Kenapa engkau mentah?
Macam mana aku tak mentah
Kayu api basah
Kayu api basah
Kayu oh kayu
Kenapa engkau basah?
Macam mana aku tak basah
Hujan timpa aku
Hujan timpa aku
Hujan oh hujan
Kenapa engkau turun?
Macam mana aku tak turun
Katak panggil aku
Katak panggil aku
Katak oh katak
Kenapa panggil hujan?
Macam mana aku tak panggil
Ular nak makan aku
Ular nak makan aku
Ular oh ular
Kenapa kau makan katak?
Macam mana aku tak makan
Memang makanan aku
Memang makanan aku
English translation below:
Stork oh stork
Why are you so thin?
How am I not skinny...
The fishes are not surfacing
The fishes are not surfacing
Fish oh fish
Why are you not surfacing?
How can I get to the surface...
The grass is too long
The grass is too long
Grass oh grass
Why are you too long?
How can I not be long...
The Buffalo did not eat me
The Buffalo did not eat me
Buffalo oh buffalo
Why do you not eat the grass?
How can I eat them...
My belly ache
My belly ache
Belly oh belly
Why are you sick?
How can I not be sick...
I ate raw rice
I ate raw rice
Rice oh rice
Why are you raw?
How am I not raw...
Firewood was wet
Firewood was wet
Wood oh wood
Why are you wet?
How can I not get wet...
Rain fall over me
Rain fall over me
Rain oh rain
Why do you fall down?
How do I not fall down...
The Frog called me
The Frog called me
Frog oh frog
Why do you call the rain
How can I not call?
The Snake wanted to eat me
The Snake wanted to eat me
Snake oh snake
Why do you want to eat the frog
How do I not eat it...
It is my natural food (It is my nature)
It is my natural food (It is my nature)
No comments:
Post a Comment