(Inspired by a fable I read as a kid.)
There was a thief who broke into a house to steal.
While trying to get out of the house via a window, he hurt himself on a protruded nail on the window sill. The nail was not properly hammered into the wood and was a hazard. He managed to escape, but due to his injury, he cannot bring his loot with him. And so, his efforts came to nought.
However, he was not satisfied with this situation. After working hard planning the theft and breaking into the house stealthily to avoid capture, he gained nothing just because the house owner was negligent in not ensuring his house was safe to break into.
To him this was unfair.
So, he decided to sue the house owner for negligent which caused his injury and loss of income. He appeared before a judge and made his complaint.
The judge, when he heard the complaint, did not punish the thief for breaking & entering with the intent to steal. Instead, he summoned the house owner.
He asked the house owner, why was he negligent in not ensuring his house was safe for the thief to break into. The nail was a hazard which injured the thief causing his loss of income.
The house owner was never satisfied with workmanship quality of the house. He wanted a grand house at the cheapest possible price and hired a carpenter with the lowest rate. He blamed the shoddy house on the carpenter that built his house, So, instead of raging at the thief for trying to break into his home, he blamed the hazardous nail which injured the thief resulting in the thief's loss of income, squarely on the carpenter.
So, the judge summoned the carpenter.
(Side note: In my mind the carpenter is Italian. My P27 colleagues will understand.)
The carpenter came and the allegation was read out to him. His dodgy workmanship resulted in the house owner owning a dangerous house with a hazardous nail which injured the thief which caused his loss of income.
The carpenter was not only incompetent but was also a pervert who always catcalls and wolf whistles women that walk nearby his worksite. When he was working on the house, there was a woman in a sexy red dress who always walk by that distracted the carpenter. He blamed the woman in red for distracting him while working on the window which resulted in dodgy workmanship resulting in the house owner owning a dangerous house with a hazardous nail which injured the thief which caused his loss of income.
So, the lady in red was summoned by the judge.
The woman in red came before the judge. The allegation was read out to her. Her sexy red dress was distracting the carpenter while he was working on the window which resulted in dodgy workmanship resulting in the house owner owning a dangerous house with a hazardous nail which injured the thief which caused his loss of income.
She remembered the carpenter that was always catcalling and wolf whistling her while he was working on the house. While she acted like she was angry at the catcalls and the wolf whistles, deep down, she liked the attention. So, instead of pointing out the carpenter misogynistic ineptitude, she blamed the sexy red dress on her tailor which only designed and sold dresses in sexy red colour which she had to wear that was distracting the carpenter while he was working on the window which resulted in dodgy workmanship resulting in the house owner owning a dangerous house with a hazardous nail which injured the thief causing his loss of income.
So, the tailor was summoned by the judge.
The tailor came and the allegation was read out to her. The dress that she designed was too red and too sexy that when her client wore it while walking by the house, the sexy red dress was distracting the carpenter while he was working on the window which resulted in dodgy workmanship resulting in the house owner owning a dangerous house with a hazardous nail which injured the thief which caused his loss of income.
The tailor was a widow with several children that was just trying make a meagre living. She only designed and sold red dresses because the clothing store in her town was a monopoly that sold cloth only in sexy red colour. There was no other stores where she could go to. She had to buy the red cloth from the cloth merchant. So, she blamed the cloth merchant for only selling red cloth which she designed into a dress which was too red, a colour that was too sexy, that when her client wore it while walking by the house, the sexy red dress distracted the carpenter while he was working on the window which resulted in dodgy workmanship resulting in the house owner owning a dangerous house with a hazardous nail which injured the thief which caused his loss of income.
So, the cloth merchant was summoned by the judge and he came to court.
The allegation was read out to the cloth merchant. Because his store was a monopoly in the tailor's town and he only sold cloth in sexy red colour, the tailor had no choice but to buy them to design and to sell the sexy red dress to her client which she wore while walking by the house which distracted the carpenter while he was working on the window which resulted in dodgy workmanship resulting in the house owner owning a dangerous house with a hazardous nail which injured the thief which caused his loss of income.
The cloth merchant was a rich merchant that had several monopolistic business in the town which he manipulated to drive his competitors out of business. While he did own the only cloth store in town, he did not intentionally set out to sell only red cloth. He blamed his dye supplier for only selling red dye which he had to use to dye his merchandise which he sold to the tailor who use it to design and sold the dress that is too red and too sexy to her client which wore it while walking by the house which distracted the carpenter while he was working on the window which resulted in dodgy workmanship resulting in the house owner owning a dangerous house with a hazardous nail which injured the thief which caused his loss of income.
So, the dye supplier was summoned by the judge.
The dye supplier came and the allegation was read out to him. The dye supplier owned a factory making dye that pollutes the environment and the river around his factory. Many of his neighbours were angry at him for polluting their neighbourhood. One of the neighbours petitioned for his factory to close down. His last dye product before he closed shop was the red dye which he supplied to the cloth merchant who had to use it to dye his merchandise which he sold to the tailor who use it to design and sold the dress that is too red and too sexy to her client which wore it while walking by the house which distracted the carpenter while he was working on the window which resulted in dodgy workmanship resulting in the house owner owning a dangerous house with a hazardous nail which injured the thief which caused his loss of income.
So, the judge asked the dye supplier who was the neighbour that petitioned for his factory to close. The dye supplier looked around the court and pointed his finger at the thief.
So, the judge punished the thief who was also the dye supplier's neighbour that petitioned for his factory to close down which caused the dye supplier to sell his only last dye, which was sexy red, to the cloth merchant who had to use it to dye his merchandise which he sold to the tailor who use it to design and sold the dress that is too red and too sexy to her client which wore it while walking by the house which distracted the carpenter while he was working on the window which resulted in dodgy workmanship resulting in the house owner owning a dangerous house with a hazardous nail which injured the thief which caused the loss of income to the thief.
The judge fined the thief with an amount equivalent to 10% of the loss of income. The thief reminded the judge that he already paid the judge under the table with that amount to hear the case. The judge noted in his judgement that the thief did indeed already paid the amount.
He deemed the fine paid and released the thief, the house owner, the carpenter, the woman in red, the tailor, the cloth merchant, the dye factory owner and the neighbour.
All went home relieved that they avoided jail time except the judge who went home richer.
THE END.
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